Today was D day at the Birm household. I never thought this day would come when I would have to take Jacob to daycare and head back to work but it is here. Last night I was pretty beside myself knowing I would have to take him to daycare this morning and I didn't really want to close my eyes and go to bed because I was hoping if I didn't sleep today wouldn't come but of course I knew that wouldn't happen. So I went to sleep, woke up this morning, fed Jacob, and then we headed to daycare around 8:15. I got all his stuff out, set up his cubby and crib, and then kissed him good-bye. He looked a little terrified because when I left there was a little girl in an exisaucer screaming in delight at the toys she was playing with but I knew he was in good hands. I quickly headed to the door before I completely broke down and decided I would take him home instead of leaving him there. I cried for a few minutes in the parking lot and then decided that I would go to Starbucks, get a coffee, and read my book because I didn't want to go home and see his blue seat on the bay window empty. After I was done at Starbucks I still didn't want to go home so I did some retail therapy at the mall. I spent about 2 hours walking, shopping, and missing my baby. After spending a little too much money I headed home to the empty house. Of course the minute I walked in and saw his empty seat I lost it again but then I called my mom and she made me feel better. I am really hoping as the days go by it will get a little easier to be away from him. I head back to work full time next week and I think they will be keeping me pretty busy so I won't have much time to miss my little man but I think I will still count down the hours in the day until I can see him again.
I am very thankful to my work for allowing me to be able to spend so much time with Jacob before he had to start daycare. I know some mothers have to go back 6 or 8 weeks after having their little ones and I was granted extra time which was so nice.
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